When I thought Ace had cancer in January 2016, I told our vet, ‘I’m ready to let go.”
As soon as we paid the deposit for Ace’s puppy-to-be, I hoped he’d still have a chance at growing up together.
As I lay on the floor with Ace beside me, I decided to write myself a letter as an effective means of dealing with impending loss. Writing would provide my future self with comfort during that difficult period in time.
So I wrote myself a letter and stashed it away in an envelope.
And I was right; the letter did help tremendously – however, my timing was wrong.
We extended the contract by two more years.
I consider myself one of the lucky ones; I gained two extra years with my best friend. There have been more park trips than I can count, kisses every day, road trips and adventures galore – an extra lifetime together for sure!
My dog lived a happy, healthy life for which I am extremely grateful.
As this letter wasn’t intended for anyone but myself, I decided to post it here, unedited. Although it may not help other dog owners specifically, my hope is that it encourages others to write their own letters and enjoy every moment – we often forget what a gift life truly is!
“When My Old Dog Dies.” Jan. 26 2016
Dear Lindsay,
I understand you have fallen to your knees in sorrow as your precious canine companion passes on. Only someone who shares our passion can truly understand such grief.
My heartfelt condolences on your loss.
Don’t ever forget that no matter who had care of Ace, no one could ever provide him with more fulfillment or love than you. He was truly precious but so are you.
Your efforts were more than satisfactory – Ace flourished knowing he was loved every single day of his life.
Make sure you give yourself permission to feel sad; it’s okay! Allow yourself time today to wallow in that deep sorrowful feeling. Take a day off from work or anything else, just to give yourself that much-needed space to feel bad about how things have gone for you.
Remember that Josh may say or do things that seem inappropriate – it’s OK; no one knows exactly what they should be doing or saying in these moments of loss and grief. Be mindful that he, too, is grieving in their own unique way – remember how he helped you and Ace over time!
Others will sometimes say things they shouldn’t, though their intentions are good and they do care.
Allow those cats to curl up next to you and provide comfort, even though they don’t understand. Allow them their comfort.
Now that you have your new dog, Ace can assist in shaping them to meet your desired traits and wishes.
Don’t compare your new companion with Ace; he already has enough on his plate as your partner. Allow him to be himself; it might take him a little time to understand who you are or perhaps they might act like Ace was never part of their lives – either way don’t hold anything against them!
Imagine all of the adventures the two of you will experience over the coming decade, many due to Ace helping guide your life path. Imagine all the puppies that could benefit from being fostered due to Ace teaching them calmness, acceptance and responsibility.
No need to fret either if you don’t already own your puppy; that is fine; one cannot always plan for life’s surprises!
Ace will always be remembered fondly, for his amazing nature and service as an incredible family pet. Take time to remember all those hikes, camping trips, walks and lazing around in front of the television he provided you. Remember how his presence has touched thousands of lives thanks in part to you.
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